1. Question: Do you speak African?
Answer: Yes, I speak “African”, which is actually an hybrid of the 2,138 languages spoken in the continent. Oh, btw, do you speak American?

2. Question: Omg, you are from Africa, how did you come to the U.S?
Answer: Ohhhh man, long story……, my family -out of desperation- built a make shift boat in Kenya and we actually paddled our way around the Indian ocean and across the Atlantic ocean to come to the U.S. Thanks for asking you dumb twat!

3. Question: I know someone from Nigeria named Ogundo, do you know him?
Answer: Oh definitely! You know, Africa as a continent has 1.1 billion people, my country (Kenya) alone has 39 million people….but we ALL know each other….just saying. Oh, and by the way, I have a Canadian friend named Mark, do you know him?

4. Question: So, do you walk around naked in Africa?
Answer: Yes *note the fucking sarcasm*

5. Question: Ohh…you are from Africa, I’m soooo sorry about the war(s)?
Answer: 1. That’s NOT even a question and 2 …..let me see, my country (Kenya) has only been involved in 1 war (1963 struggle for independence) in the last century. Your country (U.S.A) has been involved in 13 MAJOR wars (Korean war, Vietnam, Bay of pigs, Russian cold war, Chinese cold war, Somalia, Kosovo, Grenada, Panama, gulf war, Bosnia, Afghanistan and Iraq) in the last 60 years ALONE. Heck, the U.S has been fighting TWO simultaneous wars (Afghanistan 2001, Iraq 2003) for the last 8 years! Quite frankly, I should feel sorry for you.

6. Question: Do you ride elephants to school?
Answer: Wtf?

7. Question: Do your women run around topless and chase animals with sticks?
Answer: Yes, and we also lock them in cages with lions and let them fight death matches.

8. Question: Are you hungry?

Answer: Fuck you!!!!!!!!

9. Question: So, you are from Africa? What part of the country are you from?

Answer: No offense bitch, but there is really no need for me to answer this question. If you can’t even figure out that Africa is CONTINENT and NOT a country, you will never be able to figure out which part of the continent I am from.

10. Question: Is it hot in Africa?

Answer: Aki, in all seriousness, I grew up in Kenya and I’ve NEVER EVER EVER felt the heat that I feel in the Texan summers. Pheww, ata uwezi ukaenda enje uku ikifika June.

Hahahahahahah, feel free to add some of the crazy questions that you’ve been asked about Africa.

For anyone who is wondering why I added the above photo of Sarah Palin: According to Fox News Chief Political Correspondent Carl Cameron, there was great concern within the McCain campaign that Palin lacked “a degree of knowledgeability necessary to be a running mate, a vice president, a heartbeat away from the presidency,” in part because she didn’t know which countries were in NAFTA, and she “didn’t understand that Africa was a continent, rather than a series, a country just in itself.”

Posted by: stuffkenyanshate | April 7, 2010

About this blog

I did not write this blog to appease anyone, for people who know me; it is certainly clear that I do not tip toe around issues regarding race, class, nationality, and religion. If you are here to perpetuate your racist ideologies or reaffirm your ethnic sentiments about the Kenyan people then you will be painfully disappointed.

This blog serves as an outlet to conceptualize the rapid westernization and inevitable globalization of the republic of Kenya. I use sarcasm, straight forwardness, and cold humor to make sense of the accelerated cultural shift of Kenya’s national identity.

Anti Censorship:  For anyone who has an issue with me using “cuss” words. Fuck off! And just for the hell of it: BLODDY MOTHERUFUCKING BITCH CUNT WHORE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH MWAHAHAHAH

Posted by: stuffkenyanshate | April 6, 2010

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